Mom guilt: The all encompassing, all consuming, constant self-doubt that threatens to take over our lives.
Being a toddler mom is hard, you guys! Mom guilt is a real thing. It will take control if we let it.
Most of the time I have no idea if I’m doing any of it right and I’m certain that I’m doing a lot of it wrong. I stress, obsess, and pray a LOT. I am always trying to make every day better than the last in hopes that in the end I raise a fully functional, well-adjusted human who is smart and kind and still loves me despite all of my shortcomings.
The mom guilt has got to stop!
I don’t know where all this mom guilt comes from exactly, but we have to find ways to stop obsessing over everything we are doing wrong and start giving ourselves credit for what we are doing right. One thing I try to remind myself to do it to take a moment to take a step back and look at myself through P’s eyes. I once saw this video on Facebook that really stuck with me and if you haven’t seen it, you really should. It shows a day through the eyes of a mother with young children and then again through her toddler’s eyes. It really puts things in perspective and makes me tear up every time I watch it.
Does your toddler think you’re awesome? Well, it’s probably because you are.
Another tool I use to fight the mom guilt is an “I DID” list. Sometime I simply need a visual reminder of all of the things I accomplished in a day. Today is one of those gloomy spring days where I need to take some time to reflect on my day and gain a little perspective.
I needed to mentally go over my “I DID” list.
Our day started with breakfast out. I missed the gym and I ate too much BUT I spent valuable time with family and I supported a local business. Balance in life is important. Family time is important. Community is also important.
My house is a disaster. The laundry is piling up and dirty dishes are filling the sink. I’m probably spending more than I should be. Should I be working outside the home? I don’t even know what I’d want to do anymore. Am I doing what’s right for P?
The insecurities pile up right alongside the dishes and the mom guilt fills me with irrational thoughts and self-judgment. I have to step back and take a breath.
P and I did TWO Easter crafts today. She loved doing it and was very proud of her work. She gained self-confidence and worked on her fine motor skills.
After she was done crafting, she wanted a bubble color bath. I added food coloring to the water along with the bubbles and we engaged in some imaginative play, sang some songs and recited Mother Goose Rhymes while she got all of the glitter, paint, and glue off of herself.
Following bath time, we played some games. We started with a couple rounds of Positions Match Me. We went over the different positions in each of the pictures as we made our matches and it was a lot of fun. She got some mommy daughter play time on the floor and got some learning in to boot! After playing the Positions game, we moved on to Alphabet Go Fish and finished off with some flash cards to work on some of the trickier shapes.
I managed to get dinner in her and made homemade hot chocolate with tiny marshmallow pieces to celebrate. We had a mini dance party, said I love you about a million times and cuddled on the couch while watching Frozen.
Mom guilt does not get to steal a day like this. I see now that it was perfect and I’m taking it back.
We have got to start loving ourselves more. We must take time to look at ourselves through the eyes of those who love us.
You’re doing great, Momma. Keep up the good work. Sometimes the days feel long and you’re certain to have days where you are unsure of yourself but you’re not alone. Just because we don’t always post our neuroses across social media doesn’t mean that we don’t all question ourselves at one time or another… and we SHOULD! That’s what makes us good mommas. So next time that your little kiddo looks into your eyes and says, “I love you, Momma. I love you sooo much,” really hear them and know that you’re doing just fine. Enjoy these toddler days because hard as they sometimes are, they’ll be gone before you know it.